10 More Deliriously Absurd Harrods Inquiries (Because Why Not?)
2025-04-02
10 More Deliriously Absurd Harrods Inquiries (Because Why Not?):
Q: Does Harrods have an “Invisible Floor” where ghosts shop for ectoplasmic top hats?
A: Naturally. Access requires solving a riddle posed by the store’s founder’s portrait. Hint: “What weighs nothing but costs a fortune?” (Spoiler: It’s dignity.)
Q: Can I commission Harrods to build a time machine disguised as a vintage hatbox?
A: Their engineering department is swamped restoring Queen Victoria’s lost order of time-traveling teapots. Check back in 1892.
Q: Is it true the store’s Food Hall once hosted a butter-sculpting duel between Michelangelo’s ghost and a sentient croissant?
A: The croissant won. Rumor has it it’s now the CEO of a Parisian bakery chain. Vive la pâtisserie drama!
Q: Are there “Pet Lions” available for rent to guard your shopping bags?
A: Not lions, but the exotic pet concierge does offer a “Tiger in a Top Hat” package. Liability waiver required. Rawr-gais.
Q: Has anyone ever tried to return a cloud?
A: In 1923, a weather witch demanded a refund for a “defective cumulonimbus.” Harrods countered with store credit for a silver-lined umbrella.
Q: Does Harrods’ perfume department sell a scent called “Regretful Extravagance”?
A: Yes, with notes of melted credit cards, vintage champagne, and a faint whisper of “What have I done?” Comes with a free financial advisor consultation.
Q: Is there a secret “Ministry of Silly Purchases” for buying things like solid-gold spaghetti?
A: Obviously. Membership requires purchasing a £50,000 dessert spoon and swearing allegiance to the “Duck à l’Orange Fountain” in the store’s basement.
Q: Can I hire a Harrods-trained penguin to serve canapés at my yacht party?
A: Their penguin butler academy has a waitlist (Emperor penguins only; rockhoppers need not apply). Tuxedo not included.
Q: Does the store’s roof double as a landing pad for UFOs stocking up on luxury human “souvenirs”?
A: Alien VIPs adore Harrods’ “Earthling Essentials” gift sets: selfie sticks, fidget spinners, and a single tear from a Kardashian. Take me to your spender.
Q: Is there a “Parallel Universe” Harrods where everything is free, but customers are forced to wear clown shoes?
A: Yes, but the clown shoes are Prada. The catch? You can never leave. (Their return policy is multiversally binding.)
Bonus: Harrods’ legendary “Customer Is Always Right” policy does not apply to interdimensional beings, time travelers, or anyone who mispronounces croissant. 🥐✨